It hasn’t been too long ago that I recounted the story of Johnny Shaw, the high school nerd who married Mary Johnson, the high school beauty, after they each finished college. At our 25th high school reunion he told me about pinning the prom corsage on Mary’s strapless prom dress and accidentally sticking the pin into her breast enhancement.
After dinner that reunion night, I scouted Johnny out to hear more of his life after college graduation. We settled down for a few beers in the bar lounge.
Mary, Johnny related, had made him promise at the prom that he would tell no one about the pin sticking incident. If he kept his promise she would reward him with a goodnight kiss after the prom was over when he returned her to her home. Never having kissed a girl, Johnny kept his promise and received his reward. He never did tell anyone until the night he told me.
He continued the story, saying that after the kiss Mary invited him to come over to her house the next weekend for a visit. He did, and this time she greeted him wearing a sweat shirt and jeans. Mary asked at that time if he had told his friends about that prom incident. He smiled and truthfully said, “No one. I am a man of my word.”
Mary said, “I had a wonderful time at the prom with you, Johnny, and I want to tell you something about me.”
Mary told him that basically she, too, was a nerd. But wanting to have the high school boys notice her and like her, she decided to pad her bras.
Johnny then asked Mary if she would like to go out on a real date with him for the next weekend, and Mary quickly said yes. In fact, when Johnny got up to leave, she gave him another kiss.
All during the summer after their high school graduation they dated, and at the end of each date Mary gave Johnny a kiss. It was more of a friendship kiss than a romantic kiss, but that was fine with Johnny.
When September rolled around they each left for their respective colleges. They would telephone each other often but that was about it. Yes, during vacation times and holiday times, if they were both home at the same time, they would visit and may have even gone out on a date.
For Johnny, because of his experiences in having dated Mary during that summer after high school, he acquired so much in the way of dating and kissing experience that he had a multitude of girlfriends during his four years of college.
By college graduation time he had become very confident of his social skills and what he wanted to do the rest of his life. So he called Mary and made a date to meet her right after graduation at her parents’ house.
They met and he quickly said hello, gave her a kiss, and asked her to marry him.
Mary looked him straight in the eye, and said “What took you so long to ask?” and then she said “yes.”
They married within a month, and then they moved to New York City, where Johnny was entering medical school.
Mary had questioned Johnny as to how they were to live if they were to marry. Johnny replied that Bill, a friend of his from college, was an advertising agent. He had promised Johnny, after Johnny had told Bill about Mary’s beauty and small breasts, that Bill could get Mary a job as a runway model for high fashion and expensive women’s wear. Mary thought this was a wonderful plan.
After many years of med school, internship, and residency, the couple left for California with their two children. There Johnny set up his own medical practice specializing in plastic surgery, which in Johnny’s practice meant breast reduction or breast augmentation, or as people say, breast enlargement.
When their children went off to college, Mary became Johnny’s office manager. For each patient who came in for breast enlargement or for a breast reduction, she would recount her prom night experience.
That night with me Johnny ended his story way after midnight when Mary found us both a little groggy from the beer we had consumed.
As he was dragged away by Mary, Johnny said, “My life story can be described in a few words as ‘going from bust to bust.’”
© 2017 Albert Zimbler
Albert Zimbler is a 92-year-old author of six humor short story books on Amazon of which MORE DATING AND MATING SECRETS OF SENIORS AND OTHER HUMOR SHORT STORIES is the latest. He also teaches senior improv.